A lot has change in the past few days. Me and Kory are amazing. Im so happy. I forgot how good a normal relationship could be. Were supposed to go to a movie tomorrow. I cant wait. He may end up staying the night. And I live like 15min closer now. Since I am moving to belpre. So I guess this is going to be a short blog. But I dont have a big update after 3 days.
So once again I cant believe that its taken so long for me to post anything on here. Things have changed a lot since then. But at the same time things are the same. Im am so happy for the first time in a long time. I am with the most amazing man Ive ever met. I finally know what its like to be treated good. And I cant believe it took us thing long. We have been friends for like 3 years now. And Ive liked him so much from the very first time I met him. And now im falling in love with him. And I honestly didn't think I could feel this way. I thought I knew what love was. And now I know I was wrong. I dont know how I got so lucky. I would give up everything I have just to make him happy. And give my life to save his. I feel like I can be myself when Im with him. So yea I guess the only thing I really want to talk about is Kory. I love him so much. Ive never had a man open doors or go out to the car when I make the comment about needing something. He carries bags from the store for me. He tells me how beautiful I am for no reason. And that im amazing. And thats why I love him more than anything. Kory I know you will probably never read this But I love you.
So i feel so bad. Im tired of being alone. I always feel left out. My friends are mostly all gay, married or seeing someone. Im happy for all of them but I hate it some times. I feel like the third wheel. And it seems like the guys I meet are all about sex. Dont get me wrong I love sex. But I want more. I want that one person who I can be 100% myself with. And the one the makes me smile so easy. The guy who I can just it there with and not say a word but be so happy. That I can lay down and watch a movie with and just cuddle. I know it all seems so silly to be upset over but I cant help it.
So im sitting here in the car and worrying myself to death. Juan had court today and I brought him. But he didnt want me parking any where close to the court house. He thought he would be done by 10. So now its 10:13 and Im stressing. Its only a 5 minute walk to where im at. I mean I know its going to take him time to get done there even if court is over at 10. And then the time to walk here. Im just ready find out what happened. There is a slight chance he will go to jail. And I hope he does not. I'm still blaming myself for him even having to go to court. Its so hard. So im this messed up combination of depressed worried and pissed off right now. Pissed because I found out like an hr ago there are rumors. going around that he and I are sleeping together. Plus there's another one going around in the same bar that I slept with the male stripper. So I'm just sounding like a real slut of the gay bar. I'm so not a slut.
I cant believe how long its been since Ive wrote anything on here. Things have sure changes a lot. Im enrolled in college. Start classes in January. And I cant wait. And well in the romance department things arent as good. The man I was so in love with changed when we moved to texas. Boy was that a long trip. And that was over back in july. Since then there hasnt been anything serious. And NO sex. But about 3 months ago things changed. Someone I had a crush on came back from florida. And Until saturday it was only harmless flirting. The Saturday I stayed on a bed close to his. And I got topless and got in his bed (rapped in a blanket) and started giving him a massage I owed him. And one thing lead to another and we had sex. Then got back in my bed and went to sleep Got up that morning and left. Then yesterday He road to marietta with me. And it was great to spend the day together. And I didnt think anything would ever happen again. And things were back to the way they were. And I was wrong. He had me park and we went from trying to see a horse that the people he knows got. To looking at the stars. To getting in the back seat and having sex again. And then I took him home. I stuck around for a while then I came home. I dont know what to think of it. I would love it to turn into a real relationship. But I dont think it will happen. All I know right now is on friday night and maybe saturday im staying the night again. So I guess Ill just have to wait and see what happens.
